September 2011
1 post
weak knees
oh my winter heart. I inhale the fog, I gorge on tree marrow as flighty dark creatures entice me. I wait in anticipation to kiss the pale lips of the coming winter, never has there been a lover who has known me so thoroughly.
March 2011
2 posts
“thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives...”
– Pablo Neruda
February 2011
1 post
January 2011
1 post
December 2010
3 posts
truthfully I still think about things, and they still upset me. Sometimes I want to tell you what a stupid fuck I think you were for the whole thing. I think about you and her and it makes me want to break shit.
I cant get over this, I don’t know what else to do. Nothing has ever made me so insane
honeybee
I want to crawl under the covers and kiss him on the cheeks when its cold while the heat of his skin thaws my icy toes. I want to pick his hairs off my shirts forever. To be quiet next to him as our bodies turn to gold while the sun spreads like fire across the earth. I want to wear his shoes, put on his shirts and white rimmed glasses and see things the way he does. I want to kiss his hands as I...
November 2010
4 posts
shady and cold. sometimes I don’t know what I want best.
I feel like the distance is pushed on me. At first it felt like therapy, but now all I feel is a void. Hum. I’m always the fickle one. I don’t know how to reach out when I need you most. I want to feel you reaching too
from the pit
Up to my ankles. Who am I, unstable as my shadow gleams with thunder; Polar ice caps for knees and an unruly claim to royalty? How will I ascend the mountain I fell from. How have hackles, caw and divination spoken from beneath the mouths I’ve hushed and laid aside to sleep? I will untie the martyrs chafed hands and scurry the animals that beg to lick his wounds. I lay here aside from divinity,...
October 2010
2 posts
you said first love. I hope you were right
I have heavy boots.
I want to violently tear this shit up. It makes me sad that I feel this way because Im not that kind of person, but this is where we are. I want to trust you all over again and stand next to you like its brand new. But I’m so fragile, I hate how easily I’m scared away. I’m more skiddish in love then a horse.
July 2010
1 post
Last night I dreamed of India. I dreamed that I was supposed to leave you for this place I’ve always felt my heart in. I know that in the end this would be the best thing for me. For my future, for the person I want to be. But I don’t know how to now
We are such a terribly wonderful thing. I love the forest and you love the sea. I want a big family and you want a single child. I want...
June 2010
2 posts
Tonight for the first time I can feel my heart at his feet. And it scares me because suddenly my frailty seems magnified. I feel tinier then my five feet, two inches.
guilty
empty
May 2010
1 post
April 2010
4 posts
I wanted to meet the sun half way out of my desperation for warmth. I wanted to write him a letter and ask him “what is the weather like where you are, half way across the world, where I wish I was?” People say your name to me still, and all I feel is emptiness.
“She could ride through the sky on the floating clouds, straddle the sun and...”
– Wu Wei
March 2010
10 posts
This lustful fire, fueling my uncertainty. You and I and you and me with my repulsion quickening, daydreamer am I, next to him, the uncentered one, the uncaring one. I stand unmoved and you still want it all. Dont blame the vomit on your shoes on the gin, blame the tug o’war touch, the uncommitted kiss that strays like death on my shoulder where unexcitement lingers most. Pound that droll...
wolfage:
climbingarms:
zoezoezoe:
MISFITS -...
“it is written among the limitless constellations of the celestial heavens and in...”
you’ve been the wildest of all
untamed earthly beauty
and your mothers sorrow
weeping on the backs of ships
do I hold you now
in a torrent gaze
with a sirens call that makes me
sleep so near you without touching?
I have heard them and crossed
moonsoaked sea beds
to rest my heart near you
ageless divinity I long,
to feel you cover me.
still! Hot blooded, hands folded
soft...
thinking about
My heart in your view. My heart hidden. Anamalistic lovin, one of these days Im gunna pounce you
“A ship in the harbor is safe — but that’s not what ships are built...”
In a still cold half moon Eden I awoke alone, shrouded by twilight moss and snap dragons. The owl’s call was all I heard, Rustling the sleepy heads of lilacs. I heard something waking As they continued in their sleep. I wondered on with pine covered toes And moonlight on my knees. Your name was whispered suddenly In a violent, vibrant tongue And found me in the night, In secret where none would...
February 2010
10 posts
last time i only went in waist deep, though it’s true when it was over i felt it in my chest a little. it was in my nature. my winter coat hides the clothes i sleep in and It’s Always Been This Way. i’m running or walking on my toes. i’m nodding in this direction or that. he said Do you feel it yet? and i didn’t say much. Leave the lights on, i like to get a look at...
if you havin girl problems I feel bad for you son
remember what I said? my eyes were closed next to you, and in the letter I sent I said I kissed the sea until it reached you. Bu I no longer say your name to them, or whisper it in the secret quiet of my room. I no longer picture myself on the handlebars of your bike. I say your fading but instead I feel your mark on me returning. I told kevin, when I am at peace with you, you stumble back in,...
"what do you think? I'm obviously a time traveler"
it’s weird to look at you. don’t say shit, I’m enjoying this. (that was a good flashback)
“Do you know what you are oh virgin? You are the touch of an alabaster hand, an...”
– Valerie a týden divu
my heart is not mine for the giving. You would have to claim it from the moon, the tree tops, the river beds- fight for it and conquer the earth, ride the northern wind to a place out of reach like the Peasant Daughter did to reclaim her Polar Prince in East of the Sun and West of the Moon. You would have to rise up warrior, and prove it to me. You think you get Brie’s lovin’ on...
Recently I have become enthralled with a man that collects pelts and skins of the dead. Coyote teeth and canary wings. He has such ruff hands. And a name that I will not utter, even as a dark thought. Its a shame I don’t want him at all
I wanted to turn off the lights and cover your eyes with my hands and ask you if you were scared, not of the dark but of me. I wanted more then anything, you to never ask me what I was about to ask you, because no was only an answer I wish I could give.
but really, we’ll be ok. Our world is infinite, isnt it? My God has been your God, and the sea that ran its hands along your spine is the...
January 2010
3 posts
my words are dead birds that no longer reach you, my heart an empty castle. Child, the wolves howl for you, listen to them. Watch their yellow eyes pine for you, the dark trees whisper your name. Nothing holds you as it once had, nothing reflects, whispers, captures you. You are nothing. You have become noiseless and without a name. I will give you back, never to return again. One day you will...
the books have now decayed
their knowlege dissapaits as their pages fray
the earthworms eat the dust that lies
in hollow pockes where we once had sight
the kings throw their crowns into the sea
“woe is me, woe is me, woe is me”
the cries went out like a supernova
to say that life was finally over.
“For we cannot tarry here,
We must march my darlings, we must bear the brunt...”
– Walt Whitman - Leaves of Grass
December 2009
9 posts
“Yeah your way up there and I’m way down here and you have really long...”
– Paper Heart
Camera Obscura - Before you cry
I) why is Winter slipping away already?
II) I told my brother I was surely doomed and wept on his shoulder, 200 sobs later we clinked our glasses and drank to heart’s being skipped across ice by lovers already frozen. But we walked down the hall after and couldnt stop singing
III) I’m feeylin kinda brave and so I’m feeylin quite happy
IV) I maybe (hopefully) moving back home...